Finding Purpose Through The Fight: Jacquelin's Truth

In this conversation, Jacquelin Sander shares her transformative journey from a challenging childhood to becoming a successful kickboxing studio owner. She discusses the importance of community, personal growth, and the impact of fitness on mental health. Jacquelin emphasizes the significance of pursuing one's passions, overcoming adversity, and the power of supportive relationships. Her story serves as an inspiration for women seeking to find their purpose and navigate life's challenges with resilience and strength.

Takeaways

Jacquelin feels blessed to help people through fitness.
Building relationships with clients is crucial for their success.
Knowing what you don't want helps clarify your path.
Kickboxing is predominantly women-driven, which is empowering.
Childhood experiences shape our adult lives and choices.
It's important to dream big and pursue passions.
Community support is vital for personal growth.
Self-care is a responsibility we owe ourselves.
Overcoming adversity can lead to personal empowerment.
Surrounding yourself with positive influences is key. 

Chapters

00:00 Transforming Lives Through Fitness
02:15 Finding Purpose in Adversity
04:11 The Journey to Kickboxing Ownership
08:11 Overcoming Childhood Trauma
14:43 Empowerment Through Self-Discovery
20:14 Building Community and Connection
28:02 Redefining Success Beyond Money
32:58 The Journey of Self-Discovery
34:43 Taking Ownership: The Transition to Business Ownership
36:58 Navigating Challenges: The Impact of COVID-19
43:07 Building Community and Relationships
49:34 Empowering Women: Pursuing Passion and Overcoming Doubts
55:11 The Power of Words and Self-Perception
01:01:21 Parenting and Personal Growth
01:04:13 Dream Big: Encouragement for the Future

Transcript

Kindra Morse (00:01)
Okay, so you have been running Nine Rounds Studio for five years. Talk to me a little bit about what everyday feels like as far as the difference that you're making in your clients' lives.

Jacquelin Sander (00:17)
man, yes. I don't know where to start. This has been such an amazing journey from day one. And I feel so blessed that when I wake up, I'm stepping out into living what I know that I have put on this earth to do, which is to help people. We are a gym, we're a studio, but it's so much more than that. We have this amazing community of people that come in with

Kindra Morse (00:20)
This like.

Jacquelin Sander (00:46)
so much on their plate, right? They come in and they have 30 minutes with us. We get to see the same people almost every single day. So the relationship building that is there is so awesome. We get to learn about where they are, their mental space is this huge thing for gyms. We get to their families and just watching people progress from walking in and scared. It's something new. Most people don't have a lot of experience with kickboxing.

So it's an intimidating thing just to go into any gym, but let alone a specialty gym. They walk in scared, and they leave with a smile on their face and the ability to believe that I can do this. And that translates into all parts of their world, not just, hey, I can jump rope now, or I can lift a little bit of heavier weight. It goes out there because it doesn't just impact them. It impacts.

their husbands, their children, and their employees because they're watching them choose to do something positive for themselves. So being able to be a part of that is this truly, I'm so humbled that I get to be part of these people's journey. It's been really, really incredible and every single day, I love it. I've never woken up like I don't want to go to work. I don't feel like I'm going to work. I'm going to go hang out with people who I consider family.

and excited to see the new people that we get to meet every day.

Kindra Morse (02:15)
Have you had a time where you had a job that did not feel like that?

Jacquelin Sander (02:21)
yes, I absolutely have. So I've been at my studio for almost 10 years now and through part of that, some things that were supposed to happen didn't happen and I chose to leave. So was like, you know, I've got to do what I need to do for my family. And I left for a very brief amount of time.

and to work at a credit union. And it was amazing how quickly I just realized, like, this is not for me. What I learned from that experience was, while I love the people I worked with, it's great to help people with their finances. Absolutely, there's nothing wrong with that job. But I quickly realized, like, this is not me, and there's so much value.

of knowing what you don't want to do because it really just shines a light on who you are and where you're meant to be. And my husband, I asked for his blessing. like, I know I just started this job about six months ago. I'm like, do you care if I resign? And he said, absolutely not. You have not been happy a day since you left nine round. He's like, this is not where you're supposed to be. And I was like, have I just been a jerk? He's like, no. He's like, I can just tell that your soul is not being filled.

And the kids are like, yeah. So it took away a lot of my flexibility too. Like that nine to five, like I have to punch a time clock and I can't leave to pick my kids up from school or I would miss some of their games. Just all those demands of that type of a job just were not in line with the type of life that I want to live.

Kindra Morse (04:11)
Right. So kickboxing, don't think it's so interesting that you're a woman that owns a kickboxing studio. I think that's so awesome. It's not the norm. I don't think, I wouldn't imagine, but have you always had a love or a passion for kickboxing in particular?

Jacquelin Sander (04:14)
Yeah.

So not for kickboxing, I've always kind of been in the fitness industry, but interesting fact, kickboxing of itself is actually 90 % women driven, which is very strange. As far as ownership, I'm not sure, but the actual act of kickboxing is more women related.

Kindra Morse (04:38)
you

And so boxing is more men, like traditional.

Jacquelin Sander (04:50)
I think traditional boxing is

more men because you're getting into a ring and fighting. Of course there's women who do that. So this particular gym is not, we're not a fighting studio either. It's the fitness aspect. We're still punching and kicking, but we're not in a ring beating each other up or anything like that.

Kindra Morse (05:12)
So as far as how you feel like you were living out your purpose growing up, what did you see as what looked what living in your purpose looked like or what was the ideas that you had around how you would live your life as a young adult or even a child?

Jacquelin Sander (05:32)
So interesting story. I grew up in, I'm the youngest of six kids. And my dad was in the Air Force. moved all over the place. And at a young age, my sister was killed in a car accident. And our whole family dynamic just switched to where she was 15 and I was five. So was still really young, very young. So a lot of my memories aren't.

Kindra Morse (05:51)
How does she?

And how were you?

Jacquelin Sander (06:02)
I don't really remember knowing my sister very well or a lot of the things that went on, but there was a shift in our family dynamic as far as family dinners and having people over and being involved in our church and all of these, everything just kind of shifted. And I look back and I'm like, I don't think my parents ever read a book to me or sat and listened to like,

I want to tell you about this boyfriend that I think is cute. Those things just didn't happen. And I think that they just pulled away from that grief. And I can't imagine what that would be like. I think about that. And it just absolutely, I bring myself to tears thinking about something happening to my children. So actually going through that, can imagine how that would shift you. So fast forwarding, I just kind of entered into adulthood without actually

feeling like I had any guidance. I felt slightly abandoned from my family. They're no fault of their own. did the best they could, but.

Kindra Morse (07:01)
Thank

Did that experience cause you and your siblings to get closer then or not even with your siblings?

Jacquelin Sander (07:12)
So kind of with my siblings, so my closest sister and to me, okay, sorry, there's nothing. She and I are super, super close. We're about two and a half years apart and then we have a brother that is a few years older. So there's the first three kids and then there was a gap and then there was the second three. So a lot of my older siblings had already moved out of the house. So definitely my sister and I, we were super, super close.

through that, and we still are. And it's funny, because we all have, we're all so different, but every single one of us has these same emotions, and they have just come out in different, they manifest themselves in different ways.

Kindra Morse (07:57)
So do you

feel that the, I guess the experience of what you didn't have through that has impacted the way that you want to be there for people now in what you do?

Jacquelin Sander (08:11)
Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think what's interesting is I go into this world, just step out, I go to college. I don't even really know what I'm doing or, because I was never told, I was never told like dream.

Kindra Morse (08:20)
I don't think anyone in

leaving high school knows what they want to do as an adult.

Jacquelin Sander (08:27)
And yeah, they're having kids try to figure out what college they want to go to and they're 14 now, completely lost my mind. But you know, I was just like, I'm just going to go wander. So there was no like encouragement of like, what do you want to do? Let's talk about your goals, your dreams. Like anything that you can do, you can like legitimately have. You just got to work for it.

Kindra Morse (08:48)
You didn't, you never heard that.

Jacquelin Sander (08:50)
Never. Never. Never. At all. I don't have a question for that.

Kindra Morse (08:54)
So did you have a really

limited vision of what was possible? Like did you only see a few avenues?

Jacquelin Sander (09:02)
Yeah, yeah, my mom was a teacher and my dad was in the Air Force. So was like, those are the couple things. And I bartended and worked in restaurants to put myself through college. And I was like, well, I don't really want to be a bartender for my whole life. You know, I mean, it's pretty, it's fun, but.

Kindra Morse (09:16)
What?

What

did you go to college for?

Jacquelin Sander (09:21)
I went to college to be a teacher. I got a major in Spanish. And then I got married and just moved, had kids. And that was kind of like where my dreams shifted from me going into like, what am I going to do for myself, to now I'm a wife and I'm putting my now ex-husband through law school. And then we had kids and I became a mom.

Kindra Morse (09:46)
So

you were working through him going to school? Were you working as a teacher or were you working in other jobs?

Jacquelin Sander (09:55)
No,

so we moved and I wasn't accredited as a teacher in the state that we moved to. So I just, I know it's so silly. So those are the things you look back on, right? It's like.

Kindra Morse (10:01)
College? You couldn't even use that education?

Jacquelin Sander (10:10)
that wasn't like, stay here, do this while he does that. I'm like, I can't not be with my husband. thought it, you know, that's just, I'm young, right? So just moved into having kids and it's amazing how quickly you can lose yourself. So I went into this marriage, put him through law school. He immediately did well. And so I was taking care of financially and I had these kids.

And there I'm not knocking being a stay at home mom. I absolutely adored that part of my life. And then the floor gets ripped out from under you and we went through a terrible divorce.

Kindra Morse (10:56)
So you did not see that coming.

Jacquelin Sander (10:59)
It was, no, I did see it coming. was a whole long process of being detached and just living different lives and having different things and him climbing the corporate ladder and being very successful and me feeling alone.

Kindra Morse (11:14)
Did you struggle with,

yeah, did you struggle with watching him be recognized and get accolades and your home doing all this work and moms that are at home doing all of the mommy things never get accolades?

Jacquelin Sander (11:31)
Isn't that funny how that works? It is.

Kindra Morse (11:33)
Now,

I think there are some amazing men out there that do recognize and appreciate their wives, and I'm grateful to have that, but a lot don't.

Jacquelin Sander (11:43)
Yes, now so I think it was just we went into this business and so he comes from a very successful doctors, lawyers, this type of environment. That is not the environment. So those worlds are very different for me. So I was really insecure just in this environment of I have this very successful community I'm living in. Lots of actual stay at home moms, but I'm like.

But I don't have anything for me that makes me feel like, you know, like I'm a mom. what else do I offer the world? So I don't know if anyone else can relate to that. like, just, you know, but like, but I loved what I did. I loved staying home. But then you get divorced and you're like, now what do I do? So we had a 50-50 split.

Kindra Morse (12:22)
Absolutely.

Jacquelin Sander (12:36)
which I thought was the worst thing ever. maybe now he'll be home with the kids more. They'll have a dad who's present. That was my hope. And of course it was like, no, I'm just going to hire a nanny. And there was that he just didn't want me to have the kids to hurt me like that was the sick little play there. Because hurt people hurt people. That is absolutely the truth.

That was just how all this came out. Looking back, yes, I would have changed different ways that we went about those procedures, but it didn't. And I cried for like every other week for years because my babies were gone. That was my only purpose. I was like, I'm a mom. This is the only thing that I know. And this is my entire heartbeat, like all of it. I don't want to cry. But it's true, right? So I'm going like.

Kindra Morse (13:23)
Yeah.

Jacquelin Sander (13:26)
What do do now? So at one point it's like, there is so much more. I can't just sit here and cry. That is not putting any sort of, not serving myself and I'm not serving my children by sitting here. Like, God put me here to do something. And that kind of began my journey of like,

What am I here for? And it was, I still need to do something that I could have flexibility to be home with my children. I like, this is, I only have them half time, half their life like that. There's no way I'm gonna put them in daycare when I do have them. That was not even an option. Like I will start selling plasma, whatever I need. You know, I was like, what else can I do?

Kindra Morse (13:59)
Mm-hmm.

I remember thinking about that one point in my life also.

Jacquelin Sander (14:28)
You're like, what's anything?

So it was like a really cool, very tragic way to go about finding power within myself, especially as a woman.

Kindra Morse (14:43)
Yeah, so when you talk about that, when you say you found power within yourself, like what was the first thing that you experienced that opened your eyes to an empowering version of you?

Jacquelin Sander (14:58)
gosh, you know, I think it was just, I went to a lot of counseling first of all, I went to a lot of therapy. I faced a lot of demons. I talked to my parents about, you know, I'm in this position and here are the things that I didn't feel.

They're not responsible for me. I can't blame other people. I'm like, there's sort of that feeling of talking to my parents about, I never felt like I could do anything big. So we just kind of started those conversations. And just spending time with myself, and I just focused on being the healthiest version I could, being really present with my children. And I think the moment that I'm like, you.

Kindra Morse (15:31)
Mm-hmm.

Jacquelin Sander (15:49)
I am the person that you're going to look up to.

It's a really weird roundabout way, but once you actually look at your children and understand how impactful you are and how you are their hero, I was like, this is important. I need to, I am worthy. I am a great mom. And surrounding yourself, sitting at the table with people who do great things, who pour into you, think that was probably the biggest thing was finding my tribe of people that

Kindra Morse (16:23)
How did you find that? Try, or those women? When you're say a home mom, it's so hard to find those circles.

Jacquelin Sander (16:30)
It is. I went to a brand new gym. I like, I'm going to go there. That's always been kind of like my family, because I spent a lot of time at the gym. That's my love. Always. Always. I've always loved it. I've always played sports. I've always just been active, like on my bike, running, rain through the snow, all that stuff. That's just has been what I've loved to do.

Kindra Morse (16:41)
And that's always in your life. Like at what point in your life did that start? Like as a young, young adult?

Jacquelin Sander (16:59)
That's my hobby. this is not even thing I think about. It's just part of who I am.

Kindra Morse (17:04)
Was there ever a time where you didn't have that aspect of fitness in your life?

Jacquelin Sander (17:11)
Not from, since I can remember, it's always just been something that I have prioritized.

Kindra Morse (17:17)
So when you say you found a new gym was that after moving back to Spokane?

Jacquelin Sander (17:22)
Yep, so this was like right after my divorce. So we were married and moved to North Carolina and then we came back here. And then we lived here when we went through our divorce. So I had my own family gym and that was hard because those were, I was the relationship builder in our relationship. So all of the friends that we had, because I'm the social one, like everyone come over, like let's have dinner groups, all of those things. And divorce is just nasty.

friends split, you know, like, it's just hard and they don't know what to do and at that point you really kind of see who the real friends are and it is really devastating. wow, I didn't realize that all of these people that I have poured my heart and soul into didn't bother to ask questions, they just leave. So I think it just reaffirmed that abandonment that I'm like, feel like I've been abandoned a lot.

Kindra Morse (18:17)
you

Do you think that's why you're able to be with your clients, not just be with them, but to be committed to them? Do you feel that drives the way you show up in relationship to be the opposite of what you felt in relationships?

Jacquelin Sander (18:41)
I definitely think for sure, absolutely, because I know that I'm not the only one that feels that way. Other people, there's this massive gap in the world of just people feel so lost. They don't know what to do. They're struggling, whether it's financially or in their relationships or physically. They just, they feel alone and we just don't talk about it enough. You know, it's definitely something that we like to the other, you know, turn away from and not.

Kindra Morse (18:47)
No.

Jacquelin Sander (19:10)
address and it's so amazing how much one phrase can affect somebody. It's like, you matter. I'm thankful that you're here. How was your day? But no, really, how was your day?

Kindra Morse (19:24)
I see you.

Jacquelin Sander (19:26)
Yeah, I mean that changes the world. So these little acts of kindness and telling people that they can do it, in a way, yeah, I think it actually heals me too. So to answer your question, I think that does drive that.

Kindra Morse (19:30)
Mm-hmm.

Now,

there's an interesting thing that as adults, we heal the wounds in childhood in our adult relationships subconsciously. And the way that we interact with our adults in our adult relationships are often the opposite of what we received. And sometimes we repeat cycles, but we can heal those wounds by living out those patterns in a different way. And I'm assuming that's kind of what you've done. So you find a new gem.

You start going to this gym. Is it the kickboxing gym?

Jacquelin Sander (20:18)
No, so this was just another big box gym just down the road. So it was just a few miles away. It was great. It was affordable. I had three kids. I was a single mom.

Kindra Morse (20:31)
And were you working?

Jacquelin Sander (20:33)
this point I was not working, so I was trying to find something that I could do that would line up with my schedule with my kids. So I legitimately did some of, I have friends who have different businesses straight up from like working a smoothie stand every other week just to get some sort of interaction. like, still want that interaction, but I will absolutely work that smoothie stand at the YMCA every other week because it's

Kindra Morse (20:44)
Mm-hmm.

Jacquelin Sander (21:03)
I mean, those are the things that you do, right? I'm just like, I have no shame at this point. My whole goal is to be there for my kids 100 % of the time because they need that stability in their life. So I did lots of those things. And I was actually at this gym that I had kind of made a new little family of friends. And one of my friends was actually the previous owner of Nine Rounds trainer.

So he said, hey, I've got this friend that's opening up a kickboxing studio, and he is looking for people to help run it, and I think you would be a great fit. So I was like, OK, well, yeah, I mean, I'll talk about it. I'll go meet him. then so I went to the studio, walked in. was like, oh my gosh, like the goosebumps. All of that. like, this place is amazing. It just looks.

It looks super sexy. like, yeah, it's like black and red and brick and these cool heavy bags are hanging. And I was like, I like equipment. Like, that's just so pretty. And then I just did a workout essentially for my interview. And then we met at Starbucks later to kind of just get to know each other. that was that. But here's the kicker was that I was like, I have got three kids. And I have them every other week.

Kindra Morse (22:08)
you

Jacquelin Sander (22:28)
Is this a feasible deal where I can bring my youngest son in on the weeks that I have him and he can hang out in the office and color whatever and then I'll have to leave to take him to preschool and then I can come back? And he's like, absolutely. I mean, what world does that live in? You know, it's like.

Kindra Morse (22:49)
It's so important to ask those questions though and to have your mind open to that. That is absolutely a possibility in so many small businesses. Is that a possibility when you work for Bank of America? Probably not. It wasn't for the bank that I worked at when I had my second son. But there are a lot of small businesses where if you know and relationship build with the owner and if you don't ask, the answer is always no.

Jacquelin Sander (23:13)
100 % they can't say yes if you don't ask. But it was a scary thing to ask, right? I'm like, that's a huge ask. And I don't want to be told no. I was afraid, growing up I was told to fear authority and the word no because it was a very scary thing. Super domineering dad. All of these little things that I'm like, have to ask and I have to push forward because I'm never going to get where I need to go if I don't ask the question.

Kindra Morse (23:16)
No.

Was that hard to find that courage to start asking questions like that?

Jacquelin Sander (23:45)
Totally,

And it's just one of those things, I just at one point I made the decision, like, I'm ready to do more and I need to do more. This is not, can no longer sit in the sidelines. I'm stepping in, I'm taking ownership of my life.

Kindra Morse (23:59)
What,

so go back to that. I was made to more, to do more. What was that season of life feeling like for you? you like, what made you know I can't keep doing life like this?

Jacquelin Sander (24:15)
Well, you're just sitting there and I've always been a really positive person. I've been blessed with it. I'm just happy. I just go do things and I just started looking at my pattern. I'm like, I'm just doing the same thing and I'm not producing anything that is bettering myself and my kids are watching me. And they're just at some point I was like,

And so I just started asking people. So I started asking questions about, if you know of anyone who has a job, which is kind of humiliating, right? But I'm like, I'm in this very peculiar space that I had this very weird need. And it felt weird to me and scary to ask. And then just, more doors opened. And it was just this divine meeting where I was like, this is great. This lines up with my values of,

always, so back when I played sports to work backwards, I was never the MVP of any sport I ever played, but I was always the NIP, the most inspirational player all of the time. And I was like, isn't that interesting? Because I was never the best, but I loved the hardest. I always, like, I don't care that I'm on, speaking of sidelines, like, I don't care that I'm on the sidelines cheering them on. Like, we're a team, we're here to win together.

Kindra Morse (25:45)
Where did

that come from? So if you did not, no one spoke that into you, do you think that was just an innate part of how you were, how God made you or did that, was that something that you developed?

Jacquelin Sander (25:59)
I think it's a combination. think that I was just born happy. I have three kids. They're all dynamically different. The old one's kind of angry. And then the middle kid's just whatever. And the young kid's just super fun. they're all being poured into. So a combination of that. also, I had some really great friends growing up with incredible families.

Kindra Morse (26:22)
Well, you got to see what family life could look like. Yeah.

Jacquelin Sander (26:26)
Yeah,

yeah, and they they poured into me and they loved me like their own. And it wasn't just one family, was a handful of families and I was super blessed.

Kindra Morse (26:35)
Now,

were those families influential in speaking more life into you, the more was possible or just you just felt loved in those environments?

Jacquelin Sander (26:46)
Both. There was open, I watched how they talked to their kids, but they also would ask, they would ask me questions like, what do you think about this? And they would involve us in like, it wasn't even like necessarily life altering conversations, but it was just conversation like, you matter to me because I'm asking you a question. I, and your opinion, I value what you have to say.

Kindra Morse (26:57)
Yeah.

I think the most powerful question a parent can ask their kids is, what do you think about that? How do you feel about that? How do you relate to that? Those are questions that say, respect you and you matter.

Jacquelin Sander (27:13)
Absolutely.

Kindra Morse (27:25)
And the other side of it is that when you ask that question, you are telling your child you are capable of making good choices and you're empowering them to believe in themselves when you ask those questions.

Jacquelin Sander (27:40)
Yes, yes, I agree with that wholeheartedly. And it makes them stop and think. Well, I don't know how that makes me feel. like, it's important. You need to stop and ask yourself those questions. Like, who are you? What do you stand for? Yeah.

Kindra Morse (27:48)
Yeah

So you get this job, you're working at the studio. At this point, did you have any idea that you were going to be the owner five years later?

Jacquelin Sander (28:02)
Not

at all. didn't know. I knew that there was potential for opening more studios and management. at the beginning, the owner had kind of mentioned something about, you know, I can't be here for 30 years, so maybe I'll pass it down at some point. But it was never a real conversation in my mind. I was like, I love this. I love our members. This is totally feeding my soul. And you know what? The money is really not that great in this particular thing.

But there is so much more to life than making millions and gazillions of dollars. And you can still have a great life and support yourself and your family. It just depends on how you equate your success, I suppose.

Kindra Morse (28:38)
Can you

Yeah, compare and contrast to when you were married to your first husband. He's doing really well financially. You probably have like the credit card or debit card that you can go shopping any day of the week. And yet now you financially don't have that, but you feel so much more fulfilled because you're making an impact, right?

Jacquelin Sander (29:12)
huh, yes. Isn't that funny? It's really interesting to have. really just brings to light what really matters in life. I have a great life. I've got a great home. I have healthy children. When I step out of my door in the morning, I know that I'm going to help impact people and make them feel better, which is going to make the people around them feel better.

Kindra Morse (29:15)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Jacquelin Sander (29:41)
That ripple effect is so true. And that right there is worth its weight in gold. And then the paycheck is just kind of the bonus on top of it. So we have one life to live. And I believe that I'm where I'm supposed to be. And it just keeps growing. It doesn't just stop within those walls, right? It's not like I go to job and I leave. There's a huge trickle effect.

Kindra Morse (29:46)
Mm-hmm.

Jacquelin Sander (30:11)
that it has and opens more doors. And it's really special.

Kindra Morse (30:18)
How many times or how in other experiences that you've been in how much would you say that being in situations where you know I'm not supposed to be here prepares you to recognize when it is the right thing?

Jacquelin Sander (30:39)
tough one. Can you ask that question one more time?

Kindra Morse (30:43)
Yeah, so I think it's really, you said this earlier and I think it's really powerful. You said something along the lines of, I had to do that to know that wasn't right. How does it feel differently when you, I think we have to know when it doesn't feel right to be able to then recognize, yeah, this is what I meant to do. This is where I meant to be.

Jacquelin Sander (30:48)
Yeah.

yeah, yeah.

Yes, so

I was talking about when I was at the credit union and I've been a lot of places where I'm like there's just something here. I'm very in tune with my energy and my soul. I spend a lot of time with gratitude in the morning and reflecting on who do I want to be as a human being, how do I want to impact the world around me. And it's intentional thinking.

And I have to remember to be intentionally thinking about my day, but when you actually dive into that.

You can just, there's something inside you like, is definitely the impact that I'm supposed to have. Because when you can see yourself speaking life into somebody else and encouragement and you see other people grow because of that. For me, that's right there. It's very tangible. It's like this energy, I can actually touch it and feel it from like, that was definitely not me because

I don't wake up excited at all. There's nothing about that that makes me feel like I am bettering the world in the way that I'm supposed to. Yes, and I've had other silly jobs along the way, but those were just, you know, for passing by, but.

Kindra Morse (32:19)
accreditation.

Thank

Jacquelin Sander (32:30)
I think when you just wake up full of gratitude, even though something might not be going great, even though sometimes my business, it's not thriving like I want it to, even though I'm like, I love what I'm doing. I love it. I love that I get to impact these people and everything else, I'm going to figure it out because I'm going to fight for this because I believe in it.

understanding that like I'm willing to do the work to keep it going. I think at that point is when you can really realize this is where I'm supposed to be.

Kindra Morse (33:06)
It's something that you would say you would absolutely do for free.

Jacquelin Sander (33:11)
yeah, yeah.

Kindra Morse (33:12)
Because

when you started and you were just getting started, you were probably like, I don't really care how much I make doing this. I just want to do this.

Jacquelin Sander (33:21)
Yes, and I would do it for free. I would love to do this for free so that everybody could do it. I don't want to put a price tag on this because I want everyone to have the option to be able to feel the way it feels to be healthy and to be happy and to believe in themselves and it's very empowering.

Kindra Morse (33:22)
Thank

Yeah, so as far as women taking care of themselves, I know for me, I have been resistant to being in the gym. I've not always been the one that's like, wanna go work out. I'm being totally honest. I do know that there's a level of self respect that you develop when you build that habit. And I think that's what you're speaking to what you believe in is important in.

Jacquelin Sander (33:54)
Yeah.

Kindra Morse (34:08)
a woman or anyone going to the gym and making themselves and their health a priority. It's almost like you're honoring your body by prioritizing that.

Jacquelin Sander (34:19)
Yes. Yeah, and it's a gift. It's a gift to be alive. And when we take care of ourselves, it's almost like a responsibility. We have responsibility to take care of ourselves, for sure.

Kindra Morse (34:31)
Do you think any of that stems from losing your sister? Knowing that it's a gift to be alive, do you feel that you understand that more so because of that experience?

Jacquelin Sander (34:43)
And now maybe that's actually something to ponder.

Kindra Morse (34:49)
Yeah.

Something to think about. So how did it transition to you potentially being the owner and becoming the owner? How did that transpire?

Jacquelin Sander (34:51)
Yeah.

So it's actually a very funny story. So the previous owner, he's a great guy, but was just never really, he just wanted to like have a business and then he was definitely not involved. I was, he was like, we would joke around like, this is my boss. And he's like, he would laugh saying, come on, everyone knows that you're the boss. He's like, you obviously run this place. So he was never really fully invested. was like, cool, I've got an opportunity to have a business that makes a lot of money.

And that was kind of his goal. And there's nothing wrong with that. That's people going to business to make money. But he was like, you're the heartbeat of this place. And then he had kind of started looking into other franchises. And I just started asking him about that. like, so what does that look like for you here? Would you like to pass on some of responsibilities? And we can talk about different roles. But I started asking that question.

First he said, well, think I've, no, it's good. We got it. Because he just essentially did payroll. He wasn't really an active owner. He was mostly absent. And then one day he just said, hey, what do you think about buying it? And it was the most just nonchalant thing ever. And I said, I would love to talk about the option there. So we just kind of set up a meeting.

droughts and numbers when overall the fine details. I don't love numbers. like, I don't really, just, they kind of stressed me out. like, I love the people, but I'm like, but I have to know the business side of this too. So this is a totally brand new thing. Luckily my husband's very savvy with business. So he was able to help with this conversation and a couple of days or a couple of weeks later, COVID happened.

And we're still in the middle of.

Kindra Morse (36:59)
You signed a

business and then a couple of weeks later was COVID? Like you seeming to the dotted line and then like weeks later was the shutdown? Okay, so that's insane. Wow. Before that though, in that three weeks, can only imagine what you're feeling after COVID happens, but in those first three weeks and even before you signed the dotted line, did you have imposter syndrome or limiting beliefs around whether or not you had what it takes to run a business?

Jacquelin Sander (37:03)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Absolutely. I had a little bit more faith because I had my husband who knows it more the ins and outs there, but his is a totally different, a totally different deal, right? And like this was going be my business. You know, something that I had really built from the ground up. I was there since day one. And it's really interesting when you go into this mindset where I just kept looking at all the people who had already had success.

I'm like, they've won. And it's so easy to forget about the fact that they go through a journey also. Every successful person wasn't successful at first. They failed more times than they've won. And that's why they're successful. And it's really easy to forget about that. And especially when I was in the same position for so long, I'm like, I'm really good at this. I'm really good at training. I'm really good at relationship building. I think that's.

a gift that I was given. But then I'm like, my gosh, like, but now, but now what? Right? So I'm like, I don't know what else that looks like. And

Kindra Morse (38:43)
think the worst thing we can do is compare our chapter one to someone else's chapter 12 and not realize that it's their chapter 12. You don't see their chapter one through 11 or whatever. So comparing to what we see is you're setting yourself up for failure.

Jacquelin Sander (38:48)
100%.

Yeah, I'm like, there's no way. I'm like, yeah, I got this, but yeah, it's very scary. I'm investing a lot of my resources into this. And I just, I don't know what I'm doing. There's no way I'm going be able to do this. And no one's going to take me seriously. That's just how I felt about that.

Kindra Morse (39:16)
Did your husband?

So why did you feel that no one would take you seriously?

Jacquelin Sander (39:29)
Because this is something I've never done before, they're she's just a trainer, or she's just a mom. I definitely self-doubt and underestimate the power of just being a mom. That's an incredible role we learned so much in that work. Just being a trainer, it's totally just comparing. I'm just not good enough. These people are better than me.

Kindra Morse (39:34)
Thank

Jacquelin Sander (39:57)
I've never done this, so you can't do that. You didn't go to school for business. All of these things start coming into your brain. What did I just do? my gosh. It's incredibly scary.

Kindra Morse (40:13)
I'm assuming your husband believed in you tenfold. And so that helps. But then do you have a pressure to, did that give you in some ways more pressure or was that a comfort for you?

Jacquelin Sander (40:18)
Yeah, he did. Yeah.

It was definitely a comfort. I think part of my issue with that is that I don't like accepting help because I was not taught to take help or ask for help. So I'm like, this is my business. Of course, it's our business because we're married. But I'm very much like, this is my business. You've got the restaurant. This is mine. That's yours. And that is no way to be in a marriage.

But I'm like, I built this so and it's, I felt like it was mine so I had to do everything. But I'm like, my gosh, I actually need a lot of help. I need you to help me use this system. Help me find a financial plan. Like all of these things, the accountant, all of that stuff. like, how do people know how to do businesses? So I asked, yeah, no I asked questions and then I had a husband that was.

Kindra Morse (41:20)
How did you figure out? What did you Google?

Jacquelin Sander (41:27)
There he's like, well, here's how this goes. And then I'm like, well, how do normal people do that? Like if they didn't have a husband who was already knew who to go to. You know, so you have to ask questions. need to put yourself out there and find people that you trust who are doing it. And it's really amazing how many people want to help you. The people who are very successful that you think that they would be poo poo on you, they really

If they're humble, they'll remember the process. And they are very much willing to say, hey, I've got a great account. Let me talk to you about this. And here's your first step that you need. And I've learned that along the way, just to get to know people, relationship build. And there's this amazing amount of community of people. So if anyone ever wanted to open a business, it is very doable. And the community of small business owners are

incredible humans and they're very approachable.

Kindra Morse (42:31)
Now are there groups or networking events that you have found or just through the people that you know?

Jacquelin Sander (42:38)
Mostly

through the people that I know, but I have actually met a couple of people at some Chamber of Commerce events. I haven't attended a whole lot of them, but a lot of it's just the people who walk through my doors. There's an amazing amount of networking that's involved in there too, just getting to know people through there.

Kindra Morse (42:59)
Yeah, the power of networking is huge. So, COVID hits. What did you do?

Jacquelin Sander (43:04)
Hahaha.

gosh, lots of praying. It was really pretty. It felt really good. It did not feel great to say, hey, Jay Inslee is closing down the state. And effective of this date, and it was so fast. It was just like a light, like what is happening? What's going on? And it was, we gave the members just options. Hey, because at this point we're supposed to just be close.

a couple weeks or something. don't even remember. But would you like to hang on to your members? I know. Gosh. So there are different options of keeping your membership fully paid or just paying half. And then we would do a drawing for a winner to get something or just freezing your membership altogether. And almost every single person just kept their membership. We appreciate you because that's all about those relationships.

Kindra Morse (43:40)
weeks of talking to her.

Lee.

Yeah.

Jacquelin Sander (44:06)
that it's

all about the four years into me and we want the place to be open and running. And then of course that changed when we extended and extended. But probably 90 % of people just paid their full dues the entire way through.

Kindra Morse (44:24)
How long were you actually close to close? How long until you were able to open back up?

Jacquelin Sander (44:29)
gosh, was like we kind of reopened a little bit before Christmas, right? I'm trying to think. This literally feels like a Twilight Zone to me. So we were closed for, I think it was like six weeks, and then briefly reopened, and then they shut down again. And the second shutdown was definitely harder. I think that was more where people were like, this is going to be a much longer process than we thought. Like, it'll just.

It'll just a couple days here and there. But then we reopened and shut down. That was definitely a heavier hit that time for the business.

Kindra Morse (45:03)
you

So

months that were going by where you're not open, but customers are still paying was every month so scary that next month might be different.

Jacquelin Sander (45:18)
It was, because it's not just myself. I have a sense of responsibility for our members and their health. But also, I'm in a franchise, in an agreement, and I have rent that's due. And all of those people.

they still expect their money. So if we close, I still owe my dues to the franchise. So they're like, my gosh, what if that happens? I was very proactive, though. I hopped onto Facebook, and I did live workouts on Facebook. I'd have us meet at the park when it was acceptable to be outside together. It's like, let's meet. So I stayed in really close contact with all my members. I checked in with them.

Kindra Morse (45:50)
to it.

Jacquelin Sander (46:07)
I just had all the lists and a couple times a week I'd reach out to every single one asking how they were doing, if they knew that I was doing Zoom classes or Facebook lives just to keep them active and together because it's such a community thing. like they didn't just lose their gym, they lost their community of friends and that's something that we really, I hold really close to me is like my community is everything. We've got a no jerks allowed policy. Everyone is there to support one another and

That's like a lot of people's safe place. Like this is where I come for my healing. You know, so it's just like, I stayed super, super close with them because that was important to me.

Kindra Morse (46:49)
So after COVID's over or doors are open, you're allowed to be around. I'm sure there was a six foot rule and that was probably thought. I remember the grocery store lines and how all of that. my gosh, the stickers. Did you have to the stickers? Anyways, so when you finally got to reopen, did you instantly feel that sense of fulfillment back in this is what I'm meant to do?

Jacquelin Sander (46:58)
That was really great.

Kindra Morse (47:17)
Was that there the whole time you knew this is what I'm meant to do? This is just a roadblock? Or were there times in there where you thought, did I do?

Jacquelin Sander (47:27)
No, I definitely was happy. I'm like, is what I need to be doing. I've never doubted. I've never doubted that at all. Like that was really tough and that was not fun, so thankful to still be here and to survive. had over 800 locations before COVID and now we're down to about 250. So just the industry in a whole took a huge hit, not just boxing, but all.

Kindra Morse (47:34)
Mm-hmm.

Wow.

Jacquelin Sander (47:54)
gyms in a hole because people's habits changed and financial situations and people get worried and you know.

Kindra Morse (48:01)
I'm almost surprised that there's less people going to the gym overall than they found other ways to be fit. I feel COVID opened up a lot of people's eyes to how important our health is, but I could see that maybe they're finding other ways to do that. And it wasn't that people needed exercise less or wanted that less, but the people that were running the businesses financially couldn't afford to keep running them through that.

Jacquelin Sander (48:28)
I think there's a mixed bag there, so people's habits definitely change because like, I can work out online now. There's Peloton. There's all kinds of trainers that do things online. So when we first reopened, it was a heyday. People were like, yes, we get to get back. And they were really, really excited. And it was awesome at that point. And then a couple years later, it's like the ripple effect takes a little bit more

of a toll and your economy changes and you know it's a human behavior is very strange and then what we prioritize and how we choose to spend money and it's just it's very it's really interesting the psychology behind how those outside circumstances will influence how we how we choose to move or not it's been it's been really really interesting

So there are also just more options now too. So I think they kind of all those play a role a little bit.

Kindra Morse (49:34)
Yeah. So growing up, did you, I want to speak to the woman that's listening that is thinking, how do I walk something like this out? Did you, or I guess, would you say to the woman that is thinking about pursuing her passion, what advice would you give her or what direction would you say that she needs to go into discover it? Because you talked about a little earlier that you kind of had to find yourself. Like, how would you help that woman through that process?

Jacquelin Sander (50:04)
That's a great question. I love that question. There's a lot of ways to kind of find yourself.

Find someone, find a tribe of people that you can be super raw with. Tell them all the dirty, icky parts of your life. Let them see you who you are. And they're still gonna be standing there next to you. And you start dreaming. Dream the biggest dream that you wanna dream. What is it that you, if you could do anything in your life, what would you do? And start dreaming that. Because it's absolutely possible.

It is absolutely possible and you find your tribe and it's amazing how much one person thinks you can do this and how can I help you get there.

really cool to see. And then you cast your net, right? And this world is full of amazing, amazing people that really want to help you. And when you are in line with your values and where you're supposed to be, it is magnetic. It will pull people towards you. And it will send you off in this direction that you need to go with all the support.

and the people, I would ignore the haters, ignore the people who say don't do that, whatever it is that you want to do. If you really want to do it, you can do it.

Kindra Morse (51:31)
Now, have you?

Yeah, have you had experience with in all aspects of your life, have you had experience with having to overcome naysayers or people that don't believe in what you see as possible?

Jacquelin Sander (51:46)
But not a whole lot, but definitely, which is super funny, it's like, not people who say you can't do that, but saying, well, what about this? And to me, it's just like, they're very, it's like, it's very just basic, you know, but people who don't necessarily, well, what do you want to do? What makes your heart pound? What makes you excited? You know, like, have you thought about, you know,

what really resonates with you and like what legacy do you want to leave for your family and for people, how you want them to remember you, like what did you do. So it's not people saying don't, it's just not people who have like helped me open up my mind to like, dude, literally anything you want is yours. You just gotta be willing to work for it. And sometimes it's uncomfortable, but it's part of the process.

Kindra Morse (52:43)
Yeah.

Most

of the time it's uncomfortable. I think all of the time it's uncomfortable if it's new, but you have a part of you that knows it's right. It's the right path. As far as the people around you that are saying, are you sure? How much of the time did you know that maybe they're onto something? Maybe they've thought of something that I didn't think of or that's a reflection of them not having the confidence to pursue something that they

at one point in their life or even currently wanted to, talk themselves out.

Jacquelin Sander (53:21)
So my former self, when I really, I still have self doubt, think that's gonna, it's always there, there's always an element that you don't believe in yourself or, especially when you're pursuing something new, there's a lot of crazy thoughts that come into your head, but back in the day, absolutely, I'd be like, I wouldn't even give myself permission to dream. Didn't even have permission. It was just not something that I did.

Kindra Morse (53:42)
you

Now what stories were you telling yourself then? Those things aren't for me. I'm not.

Jacquelin Sander (53:54)
Yeah,

I compared myself to everybody. I'm just this. I am just this. really downgrading who, like, no, you're not just this. It's like, you are this. And you can be this. And you will be this. So speaking truth into your own life is a.

Kindra Morse (54:08)
Mm-hmm.

Now,

how did you find that? That's powerful. What you just said, and words are so powerful. The words we say to ourselves out loud and in our heads are everything. And so the word just is a terrible, I don't want to say a terrible word. It's a very disempowering word. And so removing those words from our vocabulary is huge, but where did you learn that or what influences opened your eyes to things like that?

Jacquelin Sander (54:41)
I think probably I started, our oldest daughter is the most incredible woman. She is on the spectrum. She's 19. She's grumpy. She's so much less grumpy than she used to be. But she is highly, highly functioning, highly functioning, but we had some really, really hard, hard times. And her being suicidal too.

Kindra Morse (54:51)
Is she 19? She's grumpy.

Jacquelin Sander (55:11)
cutting and getting drunk at school when she's 13. mean, just crazy deep things. I'd find these journals of just how much she hated herself. And she didn't think she was going to make it to 16. And we did neuro-therapy. mean, every single thing that you could think we went through. And this is dealing with an ex-husband and his wife. And I wasn't even married to my new husband yet, but he was in the picture.

we ended up sending her to a therapeutic boarding school over in Utah. And that was actually right when COVID happens, the world shuts down, she moves away, there's all of these things happening. And that was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. Okay, but so sending her kid away, because you're like, I'm not good enough, I couldn't help her. So that was really hard and then learning through that therapy of

It was just beyond my pay grade. I just needed help. And that was the point where I was like, we all need help, and we have to ask for help. And there is so much power in asking for help and just kind of going, sorry, I'm trying to get it together.

Kindra Morse (56:30)
I'm going be.

Jacquelin Sander (56:30)
Life

is just really, really beautiful. And we're all so capable of so much. learning through that process, I had a lot of growing to do. I had to have confidence to say no, even though was afraid that that was the no that was going to push her over the edge to kill herself. mean, it deep, tough stuff.

Those were the growing pains that went through. And that is when I started having those boundaries. Let's not forget, she treated me the worst because I was her safe person. As soon as those boundaries were made and I saw this switch to where it's like, that's all she needed. She really needed someone to be really strong. When I thought me being strong was going to be the worst thing that I could have been, you know, like it's.

Kindra Morse (57:04)
Yeah.

Jacquelin Sander (57:24)
Those were the moments I'm like, no, this is...

That is how you kind of gain that confidence and you learn like you can do hard things. And I'm kind of going off on a ramble right now. But.

Kindra Morse (57:43)
That's okay.

think I remember reading something a long time ago that kids do best when they know where their boundaries are and kids that have no boundaries actually struggle more because they internally know that they're not actually capable of being responsible for themselves. This is also consciously, but when they don't have boundaries and they know they're not really capable of being responsible, it actually creates a sense of fear because they don't.

Jacquelin Sander (58:01)
Mm-hmm.

Kindra Morse (58:10)
know and trust themselves and they need to know that they can trust that we will maintain those boundaries for them. And it's little things. I think it was letting your child pick the color of cup that they drink out of and like little, little, little things when they're very young, when you make them responsible for every decision, what cup do you want? What plate do you want? What this do you want? What that do you want? That actually creates more stress for them.

Jacquelin Sander (58:13)
Right.

Kindra Morse (58:39)
than us choosing some of those little things for them and not to like have a temper tantrum over it, but those boundaries of knowing that you are the one that is maintaining their safety and that they're not responsible for their safety. Do you feel that you parented? Obviously, and there's so much power in saying that that's beyond my pay grade and there's nothing wrong with that. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

My son had, this is not even the same, he had out speech therapy for 18 months when he was like three to five maybe. And I just can't even imagine if we hadn't pursued that extra support for him versus, you know, thinking he'll be fine, he'll be fine, he'll grow out of it because he needed it bad. But going back to her and when you, before you decided to send her, do you feel that you parented?

in a way that

comparing to your childhood, I'm trying to think how the parallel is. I'm trying to draw the parallel of how your parents related to you. How did that impact the way you related to her prior to that?

Jacquelin Sander (59:54)
Yeah, so I remember just she's been difficult almost several lives. She came out of the womb screaming. Like no joke, hands clenched, absolutely shrieking. like, my gosh, this is crazy, but I don't know any different. She's my first kid.

It was so present, so present. Probably more of a helicopter parent.

Kindra Morse (1:00:22)
because your parents weren't.

Jacquelin Sander (1:00:24)
Yes, because I'm like, I want you, you need to know that I'm here for you. You need to know that I love you. For sure, it made me do the exact opposite. But you can go too far sometimes too, you know, without giving them those choices or too many choices. But parenting's hard, you know.

I don't know if I would have done anything different if she was not my first kid, I just didn't know. But I remember feeling this is not how this is supposed to be. Like we're supposed to be so happy, because I love you so much, and we're supposed to go get our nails done and frolic on the beach and all of these things, I didn't ever have those things with my growing up. So I'm like, I really so badly want this, and I just don't get it. And I'm trying so hard.

Kindra Morse (1:00:56)
you

you

You still want to.

Jacquelin Sander (1:01:21)
You know, I think when that happens, helps you, that also just plays into your life as a business owner, as a partner. Like, you're doing all the right things, but it's not working, so it's not gonna work. So I think it plays into all of those self-doubts of like, I can't even be a good mom. Like, I've always wanted to be mom, and I'm still not getting this right. You know, so think I gave that a lot of power too, as far as I can't.

I'm not good at anything and this is the one thing that I do.

Kindra Morse (1:01:53)
That's such a disempowering thought. can't imagine. But I think all moms go through that. I think all moms have that in one way or another because there is no manual and it's constantly changing. In one week you think we've got this all figured out and then the next week, no you don't. It's all turned upside down and now we have new problems, especially as our kids get older. And I think that it's the most empowering thing is to know that everyone know for yourself and for everyone else we're all doing the best we can with what we know.

Jacquelin Sander (1:01:55)
Right?

Kindra Morse (1:02:23)
and the information that we have, and it's a growth journey that we're all on. And the more that we are able to give ourselves grace in our own growth journey, the more we're able to give our children grace in their growth journey and allow them space to make mistakes and figure out who they are in their own timing.

Jacquelin Sander (1:02:37)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I think too there's going back to just being really honest with the people who are in your circle, letting them know your struggles. I didn't let people know my struggles. I was ashamed of my struggles because no one talked about that stuff. And now I talk about my struggles and guess what? There's a lot of people who struggle the same way. so we're not just anything. We're amazing people. Totally can.

Kindra Morse (1:02:52)
No.

Thank you.

Jacquelin Sander (1:03:15)
capable of anything, even though things can be really hard. Those things can coexist at the same time.

Kindra Morse (1:03:18)
Mm-hmm.

Yep, Yes, absolutely. Where can people find... nine rounds.

Jacquelin Sander (1:03:32)
So my particular location is in Spokane Valley between Evergreen and McDonald on Sprague. We're right next to a little great clips, but we're actually international, so we're all over the place. We've got studios in Saudi Arabia, they're over in New York, Florida, all over the US, we're in Canada.

Kindra Morse (1:03:55)
So really anyone could open up a franchise anywhere they wanted, if they loved kickboxing.

Jacquelin Sander (1:04:00)
Exactly. Yes.

Kindra Morse (1:04:01)
What

is the last thing that you want to say either to you when you were a child or to the woman listening that needs to know it's okay to pursue something she's passionate about?

Jacquelin Sander (1:04:13)
I would say a couple of things. one of my favorite things that I, first of all, one of my favorite books is Atomic Habits by James Cleary. That's a fabulous book to read just for daily habits. Just giving yourself permission to dream. Don't play small. Know that what you want is absolutely, absolutely yours.

The bigger you dream, the bigger that mountain's gonna be, but the prettier that view is. So no one purposely walks up the hill or to the top of the mountain. You have to climb and you've got to do it, but it is doable and just surround yourself with the people who believe in you and ignore all the noise and distractions that are gonna keep you from getting there.

Kindra Morse (1:05:07)
Absolutely. You're amazing. Thank you so much for your time.

Jacquelin Sander (1:05:10)
Thank you for having me. And you too.

Kindra Morse (1:05:12)
Have a good day.